Week 7
A little better

Wednesday

On Wednesday morning I felt like I needed to go into college. I was still very ill and it took; so much, to get myself out of bed, dressed and into college. I was crying the whole time. So much so that I had to take strongest pain killers I owned to try to ease it, they didn’t, they just made me woozy so I had to ask Antony, my boyfriend, to drive me in.

When I got to college, the walk from the car park to the building felt like I had just run a marathon. Why was I here exactly? I wasn’t sure but I felt like I needed to be. The deadline for the assignment was tomorrow and I needed to be up to date with what was going on. It could have been done with a phone call but I just felt better doing it face to face.

When I got into class I could see the rest of the group doing their last minute bits of the assignment. I felt like everyone was staring at me and I wanted to get out the room before I’d barely stepped in. I asked Steve if I could see him in his office so we could discuss what would happen next. As soon as he asked if I was ok, I burst into tears. IDIOT! I never do that! I’m no hard face but I don’t cry to people. I felt a little uncomfortable but I couldn’t help it and Steve was extremely understanding. He asked why I’d come in when I was still unwell. I couldn’t tell him exactly because I didn’t know. We had a chat and he explained that I had to fill in a sheet and have a doctor’s note, in order to get an extension on the assignment. He told me to go home and not come back until I was better.

I found out that day, that Steve had been trained in counselling. That’s why he always knew how to make me feel better about college; he knew what to say because he kind of knew what questions I had without me having to say anything. I suppose years of teaching helped too but he’s very good at what he does.

I went home a little after 9.30am. The first thing I did was write down how I was feeling and the events that took place for the sake of my blog.


Thursday

By this time I had been and bought myself a laptop. I figured it would be worth its weight in gold for times when I was ill but needed to work. I did nothing but play on the bloody games for over a day! It’s a strange thing; it’s a need to use your new toy with nothing really important to do, so you play on the games. Novelty.

Anyway, after messing around on it I started to type and edit my blogs. It was a bit strange reading what I’d written 3 weeks ago, and how my writing had changed as I’d started to settle into it and get my own style. It was so much easier being able to do it sat on the sofa and I think that reflected in my writing, I was much more relaxed.

I’d started to feel a little better by Thursday, not worrying about the assignment was a big factor I think, my mind was at rest. I didn’t realise it was that at the time, I didn’t care what it was, I was just glad I felt better. I also knew it was half term next week so I could rest up and do bits of work at my own pace.